my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
