Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
