Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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