I hope mine doesn't look like that
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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