Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
