did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
