I am puke
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
