Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
