We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize