I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize