she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
