He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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