i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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