i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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