you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
