fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
PANTIES FOUND
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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