i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
zippers are such a cool invention
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
