and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
