she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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