My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
