were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
