listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize