i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
