Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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