Do you still have your period?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
