When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
