Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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