Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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