No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
