New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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