google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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