Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I smell stomach acid.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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