xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
