Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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