it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
