i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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