I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
