they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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