don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
