hotel room ftw
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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