ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my sisters under your porch take her home
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
