i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
