We named our party play list daddy issues
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
