3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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