they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
