Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
