You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
