But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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