seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Randomize
