there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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