im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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