pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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