My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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