i jhust puked up my retainher.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
