I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
