At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
