took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
