He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
