its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
