I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
it's like iHOP with fire
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
